Reykjavík inner landscapes

LEARNING TO EXPRESS NEEDS AND FEELINGS

What kind of needs do I have? 
One of the most important ones is: To be in harmonious relationship built on mutual understanding and respectful.

So coming back to Marshall Rosenberg no-violent communication, I just finished to listen to his 3h workshop. He is really amazing and amusing person, so sincere and straight forward.

Here are some important points from Marshall's workshop:


'Talk about what is alive in us, just what we are feeling and needing.' 
'When you say the need behind the 'No', then it's more likely that the person understands you and your needs will be met'.

'After we really know how to clearly identify our feelings, needs, requests than we can start to put it into the language that can connect us with the people we are speaking with'.

Expression of gratitude (Marshall Rosenberg):
Observation, feeling and need.

1. 'We bring to the other person attention concretely what they have done that has made life more wonderful for us. Bring our consciousness and attention to the power that each of us has to make life wonderful. We have words that have a power to contribute to make life more wonderful. We are powerhouses. An appreciation'.
2. 'Say how we feeling at the moment to the person doing that, for example: hopeful and relieved'.
3. 'Ask how this things you say help other person. What his/her need was fulfilled by our words.'

Other important thing is how we receive gratitude:
'That's our light not the darkness that's scaring us the most'. Don't say: 'It's nothing.' Just express sincere gratitude and love.

All that requires a practise and empathy. It's such a powerful and natural language that we forgot through 'jackal' socialisation and education system.

And talking about my needs: just few minutes ago I had a visit of wonderful purring creature, furry young cat, tricolour with long hair. I met her in the garden and she came up to my room. I really miss my cats, it's such a pleasure to have a cute living creature next to me.. And this is one of my needs, to be in constant contact with animals, their sincerity and serenity.. I am grateful that she reminded me about it today :)